Closing off and staying stuck, small and contracted creates an unhealthy cycle of anxiety, worry, and a pulsing background fear that literally resides in our body and in our minds. We can reimagine and reexamine how we are choosing to relate as we move into a New Year. There can be changes made that support us in our healing process.

How does this show up in our daily lives? It can present in a variety of ways.

Falling back into our same patterns. Perhaps not reaching out for support, not venturing outside our comfort zone, or staying with routines that leave us feeling dull, listless, and aching deep inside.

A sense that something is missing.

Falling into the same ways of relating. Perhaps continuing to be distracted and attracted by things that “sparkle”. Those sparkling things and people that may suck all our energy out of us because they need to be filled up with our adoration and compliments.

You may begin to notice that you leave these encounters feeling completely drained and wondering: Why did I just get a babysitter to endure that?

Familiar ways of relating to people. Viewing all your interactions through a lense of perfection and unrelenting judgement. Having to appear perfect, capable, responsible all the while, perhaps slightly judging the others and comparing ourselves and our situation. Bringing more pain and suffering into our daily lives.

Are we left with one strongly held feeling of anger, resentment, hopelessness or loneliness and respond from this place in our encounters at work, in our relationships, and bring these negative feelings and judgments towards ourselves?

We can learn to recognize the triggers for what they are. Understanding that not turning towards and examining the deeply rooted reasons why we are reacting or responding with such anger, withdrawal, or distance from others will leave us in the same, small, stuck place.

Can we broaden our perspective?

Can we widen and leave space and room for the possibility of change, hope and growth?

Can we open to our worth and innate wholeness, despite what we have been told over and over again in our youth perhaps through actions or words and then had reinforced over and over again in our toxic relationship with an abusive narcissist?

Can we stop believing the lies, the doubt, and the fear that creeps in and tries to hold us in this cramped, closed up little space?

We can relearn to listen to the strength that resides within. We can make small, micro changes to move us into our lives. We can expand. We deserve to heal.

Free Audio: 3 Sabotaging Beliefs After An Abusive Relationship With A Narcissist

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